A full year after graduating law school, I can proudly call myself a lawyer!  Here’s the list if you’re interested.

No one tells you about the grueling experience following graduation from law school.  Many assume, myself included, that after three years of law school, anything after that would be cake.  Although I managed to survive this year, it certainly was no cake walk!

I knew the results would be up at 1:30 p.m. on Monday, May 3rd but I kept that a secret from my family.  The last time I checked whether I had passed the bar (November 20th, 2009 for the July California bar) my entire family insisted on being present and huddled around me as I entered my I.D. number.  It was a very embarrassing experience when we discovered that I had not passed.

Well, this time I told everyone the results went up around 6:00 p.m. (of course, they could have just checked the website and discovered the actual time; luckily they didn’t).

Normally I am not a nervous, anxious person but when I woke up around 7:30 a.m. on Monday to take my wife to work, the anxiety struck me like a lightning bolt.

After I got home from dropping off my wife, I couldn’t focus on anything (those of you who know me know that I go crazy when I can’t get things done).  Instead of working on some legal research, reading or watching T.V. I simply cleaned out my computer’s hard drive.

Around 12:30 I couldn’t take the wait anymore.  I had to do something to get my mind off it!  I decided some XBox was the answer and played NHL 2010 until around 1:30 p.m., when I hastily logged onto the Washington State Bar website to peruse the pass list.

Of course, the list wasn’t up at 1:30 . . . it didn’t go up until 1:32!; believe me, that’s an enormously long time when you’re waiting to see if you’ve finally fulfilled a childhood dream.

When the list finally popped up, my body began to shake.  I took a deep breathe, clicked the link and scrolled down to “S”.  I was confident that I had not passed the exam because I was unable to complete the final question on the ethics portion.  I assumed that I would pass the first part of the exam, which was the substantive part, but that I would need to retake the ethics portion of the exam.

You have no idea the emotions that struck me when I saw my name listed.  I didn’t know how to react: EXCITEMENT, SURPRISE, JOY, RELIEF, HYSTERIA?; it was all there.  Perhaps the biggest emotion was FEAR; fear of what my wife would do to me when she found out I lied about the release of the pass list!

I walked back and forth a few times trying to collect myself and then walked down the hallway to the room my wife was in, opening the door and saying, while in a rather emotion state: “Hun, okay, don’t be mad at me,” as I’m partially shaking, trying to contain my emotions.  “The pass list just went up and I . . . I passed. I passed.”  She looked at me in disbelief and confusion for a second then exclaimed “you passed? You passed!” proceeding to leap up and vigorously hugged me.  Of course, she’s the crying type and did plenty of joyful crying.

We called our parents, other family and friends and then went out to dinner to celebrate.  The whole day was ridiculously exhausting.

The entire experience reminds me of an uphill marathon, with the hill being first law school and then the bar exam.  Some people either don’t have the interest, wherewithal, or endurance to complete the run.  And when you’re almost to the top, you’re never quite sure whether the end is near, or another hill lay before you.  Well, I finally reached the top of that hill, completing the marathon. BUT now a larger, more difficult hill lay before me: that of the practice of law.

To use a baseball analogy, I’ve completed 162 games and made playoffs (law school) and made it to the World Series (passing the bar exam) now I need to win the Series (the successful practice of law). Only until then will I be truly satisfied with myself.

I’m up to the challenge!  I get sworn in May 20th.